Undercover Cowboy Page 18

  “At last sleeping beauty awakens,” he said. “Since a kiss didn’t work, I brought food.”

  She touched her lips. She had felt the light kiss, but thought she was dreaming. She still felt dazed. She had floated in and out of a hazy consciousness for many hours but couldn’t grab hold of it. “What day is it?” She had sensed her family coming and going from her room.

  “Tuesday.” Nick set the tray on a table.

  “Then De Fuego’s parole hearing is over?” She hated the tension in her voice.

  Nick smiled. “Don’t worry. He didn’t get paroled.”

  She struggled to sit up. The sun glared against the wall, but the air-conditioned room felt cool.

  “Here let me fluff that pillow for you.” He placed it against the headboard, and she sank gratefully into it. “The doc said you might wake up hungry.”

  Sara Jane cleared her throat. “Actually, I’m starved.”

  The tray he placed in front of her had everything she could want: orange juice, an array of fruit, eggs, and lightly browned toast. She noted the good china and the small vase of mixed wild flowers. She glanced at the clock. It was almost ten. Everyone would have eaten hours ago, and the housekeeper would be busy with her other duties. Maybe Mom prepared this, but she seldom cooked. If not her, who? It was way too fancy to have been put together by an FBI man whose childhood consisted of moving from one foster home to another and whose his adult life was spent on the road chasing bad guys. “Someone went to a lot of trouble.”

  “I hope it’s all right. I haven’t made breakfast for anyone in a long time.”

  She reeled in surprise. “Who was the lucky lady the last time?”

  He laughed. “I can see you’re feeling feisty again. That’s a good sign.”

  “Is it? Then answer my question.”

  His smile faded, and he took his hand tiredly over his unshaven face. “Let’s talk about more important things.”

  She stared at him a moment, wondering what he considered important. His swollen, black-and-blue eye and the gash over his brow looked painful. She winced. He’d gotten that beating protecting her. Even his good eye was bloodshot and had a dark circle under it. He still wore the same wrinkled shirt and dirty jeans. “When was the last time you slept?”

  “The doc said to watch you for forty-eight hours. When I’m sure you’re okay, I’ll hit the shower and crash for a few hours.”

  She touched his arm. “You’ve been here with me all this time?”

  He grasped her hand and pressed it to his lips. “Except for making breakfast. Everyone wanted to stay with you, but I won the draw of straws.” His voice was hoarse, and he looked so tired. An overwhelming wave of love crashed over her. He would leave soon, she reminded herself.

  ****

  Naked, Nick drew the drapes of the guest room against the midmorning sun. I should take a shower, he thought as he slid between the sheets. When his head hit the pillow, the notion passed. He closed his eyes.

  The door eased open. He breathed in the faint scent of raspberry shampoo. In the swirling steam, her nude silhouette floated toward him. Nick reached out and took Sara Jane’s hand and drew her down next to him. Her lips were hot, moist, and oh so soft. She moaned, heightening his desire. He stroked her satiny skin and eased her thighs apart. He hadn’t wanted their first time to escalate this fast, but his need for her was too great. He thrust himself into sensations beyond his wildest dreams. He didn’t want them to stop and thrust harder and harder…

  A tapping on the door jerked Nick cruelly from his dream…his pleasure.

  “Open up,” Matt called through the door. “It’s important.”

  ****

  At the same time Nick hit his sheets, Sara Jane had snuggled deeper into hers. With a full stomach and a happy heart she turned over, and her thoughts drifted a while, then sleep claimed her again.

  She dreamed of awakening to Nick’s kiss. Then she was jerked away from him and thrust back into the cave. She ran from Angelo. He gained on her. With giant hands, he reached for her. She zigzagged and stepped into nothingness. She was falling…falling…falling. Blackness and winds of tornado force whipped her body and sucked her down…down into the bottomless pit.

  Suddenly she was safe in Nick’s arms wrapped only in a wool blankets. Nick covered her mouth with his. His lips were soft, yet demanding. She pressed her breasts against his chest and drew his head down closer, deepening their kiss. Their tongues searched to find and receive pleasure. He stroked her sides. She turned into his hand, and he claimed her breast. The evidence of his arousal pressed against her. Heat surged through Sara Jane. Groaning, Nick inched the edge of the blanket up to her thigh. His hands were warm as they stroked the inside of her leg. She tossed the blankets aside, wanting nothing between her and his hard body.

  The pounding next door yanked her from the promise of bliss. She glared toward the hallway and heard her father call to Nick.

  She opened the door expecting to see Nick and her dad talking, instead she saw only her dad heading down the stairs. “What’s wrong, Dad?”

  “Sorry to bother you, honey, but Nick has to call our boss right away.”

  Sara Jane frowned. Even shutting off his cell phones didn’t guarantee him the needed and well-deserved sleep. She clutched the door tighter. Did that mean that Nick would leave even sooner than she had thought? She knocked on his door, but when she heard the shower running she returned to her room to dress. Decked out in jeans and a turquoise long-sleeved shirt, she headed for her mom’s room. She needed some advice.

  Her mom was in the small alcove off her bedroom that she used as an office. It had French doors that let in lots of light, and a desk with a computer. Her fingers flew across the keys. She looked up, and her face broke into a smile. She hit a couple of keys to save her work. “Honey, I’m so glad you’re up. How are you feeling? Are you hungry, thirsty?” Her mother’s warm hug and light rose scent swirled around Sara Jane, confirming that she was really home—really safe. “I’m fine. Nick brought me breakfast.”

  Mom sighed. “I’m surprised he left you that long. He hasn’t stirred from your side for over forty-eight hours.” Her mom leveled her gaze. “Exactly what’s going on between you two?”

  “I don’t know. It’s so impossible. I was just wondering how you do it. I mean with Dad’s FBI life and all the danger, have you ever regretted marrying him?”

  Before answering, Mom poured two mugs of hot chocolate from a pitcher on a side table and handed one to Sara Jane. “No, not marrying him. Never that. But there are times when I hate the FBI.”

  Sara Jane followed her mom out onto the small terrace enclosed with decorative wrought iron. They sat down at the little round table facing each other.

  “When I found out that your dad’s job caused those men to kidnap Alicia and put you in danger, I hated the Bureau—hated them as much as that monster De Fuego who was behind it all. But your father could no more give up his work with the FBI than he could stop loving us. It is part of who he is.”

  Sara Jane sipped her chocolate. She’d heard the stuff about Dad before, but she’d needed to hear it again. “I’m not so sure I could be as brave as you have been all these years, knowing the danger, living with it.”

  “Love gives you courage,” Mom said, smiling. “The key is to love someone enough.”

  Sara Jane rubbed her head. Did she?

  Her mom met Sara Jane’s gaze with serious eyes. “When you fall for a man, don’t expect to change him. It can’t be done.”

  That’s what Sara Jane was afraid of. She wanted Nick to love her enough to give up the FBI and become a rancher. But according to her mother, that wasn’t going to happen. That meant if she wanted Nick, she was the one who had to change. And she wasn’t sure she could…or if she even wanted to.

  She had to think this through. He would be hard to give up.

  “Nick is a lot like your father. He has this need to try to save everyone and really suffers when he fails.”


  Sara Jane nodded. “I call it the world-saver flaw.” It was Nick’s only shortcoming, as far as Sara Jane could tell. She’d never known a man with more passion. If only they had made love once. Making love to such a passionate man might convince her he was indeed worth changing for.

  “If two people are right for each other,” her mom said, “and you accept the man for who he is, you’ll both change over time together and blend your goals and personalities into something deeper than you could ever have alone…or with anyone else.”

  Sara Jane stood and leaned against the wrought-iron railing and gazed out at the ranch land she loved. Her mother’s words sounded like something one might embroider on a pillow. At this moment, more than any time in her life Sara Jane wished she were more like her mother and could buy into her happily-ever-after theory.

  Sara Jane forced a smile and kissed her mother’s cheek. “I’ll let you get back to work. I need to check on Demon.”

  “Just don’t get too ambitious. Doctor’s orders. No horseback riding for at least a week.”

  ****

  Nick felt his excitement building as he hung up the phone. The Honey Killer had called the Bureau and refused to deal with anyone but him. His boss figured the bastard’s motivation hinged on ego—that he wanted to prove that he was cleverer than the man most motivated to track him down.

  His boss made it clear that he wouldn’t have considered pulling him back into the case if the countdown hadn’t started. His last words echoed in Nick’s head: the next victim’s life is in your hands.

  Doubt shook him. He hadn’t saved Shirl. But what if this time he could capture the killer and save not only the woman whose life was on the line, but countless others? He had to try for his sister who had lost her life trying to bring this man down.

  He knew more about the killer than anybody in the Bureau. But what if the killer had learned too much about him—what if he had learned how much he cared for Sara Jane? But how could he? Nick had only begun to realize the depth of those feelings himself. He loved Sara Jane, but he didn’t want what had happened to Matt’s family to happen to someone he loved. And as long as he worked for the FBI those close to him would be in danger.

  His heart pounded thinking of Sara Jane. When she did something, she did it with her whole heart, there was no middle ground. And she was a rancher through and through. To her, the ranch and her horses were symbols of freedom and happiness. A woman like that would want the milestones of her life to occur on Ryan land.

  With only a few hours’ sleep, he headed for the corral. Since Sara Jane wasn’t in her room or in the kitchen he figured she’d gone to check on Demon. Getting some fresh air was probably good for her as long as she didn’t ride.

  His steps felt heavy. If only he had a few more days here. He needed more time with her, more time to look at all the options. Now he could only say goodbye. He had a lot to think about. The wild escalation of adrenaline pumping in his veins warned him that he couldn’t give up the FBI life. And he sure as hell was no rancher. He had to face it. Sara Jane loved this land and would never give up the ranch or her business for him. And he wouldn’t want her to. She deserved to have just what she wanted from life.

  Instead of finding Sara Jane, he found Alicia. She sat in the shade of a fence post, her knees drawn up and her head resting on her arms. Her body was trembling. He stooped down next to her. “Are you all right?”

  She waved him away. He heard a sob.

  He sat down next to her and drew her into his arms. “Hey. What’s this about?”

  “I tried to tough it out. Tried to go on like nothing happened.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You were kidnapped for God’s sake.”

  “It’s not that, Nick. I called the Bureau.” Her drawl came out flat, angry. “They won’t tell me anything about Lloyd’s funeral.” She looked up, tears streaming down her face. “I have to be there.” Her voice broke. “He died protecting me.”

  The anguish in her voice told it all. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”

  “So what if I did?” She sobbed harder and buried her head against Nick’s chest.

  He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. Then he just held her and let her cry it out.

  ****

  The afternoon sun baked the storm-drenched land under a clear sky blotched only by two dark clouds lingering over the mountains. The roar of ranch machinery hummed like music to Sara Jane’s ears and energized her steps. She waved to the ranch hands unloading materials for the new barn from the Dickson truck. She knew what that meant. Monica Dickson and her brother had contributed the materials. Sara Jane shook her head. Sometimes neighbors with the most problems were the first to give a helping hand.

  She rounded the metal shed and stopped. Stunned, she stared at Nick holding Alicia, kissing her hair. Sara Jane stepped back into the shadows and blinked back a rush of tears. Had Nick joined the trail of men who had fallen for her sassy blonde cousin? No wonder, she was the Ryan who would give up the ranch in a heartbeat. They both liked city life and flitting from one affair to the next. Maybe age and experience had something to do with it. Did he choose Alicia because she was three years older and knew exactly how to please a man? Dad often said that a few years made a big difference. Sara Jane frowned. Did Nick think of her as a child?

  Damn. He had stayed at her bedside all night. What was that, only his passion for his job? She’d seen how his dedication to those he protected drove him to go beyond the norm. Few men would give themselves so completely, drawing on every last drop of energy for others. But he’d made her feel loved.

  It was heartbreaking how fast hope could be yanked away. She wiped away a tear. Blast it. They weren’t going to ruin her day. Her steps quickened. At the corral, she whistled for her horse, Demon.

  Mesquite and scrub brush blurred as she galloped along the narrow trail, letting Demon have his head. Images of Nick with his arms around Alicia tore at her heart. Sara Jane blinked back a new rush of tears. Just because he was a nice guy and stayed with her the last forty-eight hours didn’t mean he loved her.

  Perhaps her dad was right. Maybe she still harbored childlike fantasies and impossible dreams and it was time to get beyond all that.

  ****

  Nick searched the whole ranch compound, but Sara Jane and Demon were gone. Covering the acres that made up the Ryan land could take hours, but if he didn’t leave for San Antonio at once, the Honey Killer could slip through his fingers—again.

  He found Matt warming up his chopper at the Ryan airport. “All set?” Matt shouted over the whir of the blades.

  “Not exactly. Sara Jane isn’t on the compound and Demon is gone.” Nick threw his bags into the helicopter and climbed in. “I can’t stay any longer, but I hate to leave without saying goodbye.”

  Matt shook his head. “That girl. What possessed her to disobey doctor’s orders? Well, don’t worry. I’ll get Luke and some of the hands to mount up and go find her.”

  Nick never dreamed that leaving Sara Jane behind could be so difficult. He had to find a way for them to be together. He had never wanted to tie himself to one woman before, and he hoped she would realize what a big step this was for him. The big stumbling block was the danger that came with his job. Since the decision he made would essentially create the destiny for both of them, she should have a say in it.

  But first, he had to get the sicko who killed his sister. Sara Jane would be here when he returned. A few days apart might even make her heart grow fonder and even make her more receptive to a wild idea brewing in his mind.

  What if they bought the horse training business in San Dimas? He could still work out of the LA office, and when he had to travel for the job, they could hire a manager to run things so she could go with him. Surely, she would see that it was a win-win arrangement. She could train horses, and he could keep his job with the FBI. Their home would be where their hearts were—with each other.

  But what if her
heart couldn’t flourish anywhere but on Ryan land? He pushed away worries about what he would do if she said no.

  Then it hit him. His plan didn’t solve the problem of the danger.

  ****

  Sara Jane had ridden half way to Verde Creek when the air grew still and she had the eerie sensation of being watched. She shaded her eyes from the afternoon sun and squinted, looking for a rider’s silhouette or rising gusts of dust. Nothing moved. Her heart pounded. Someone could easily hide in the thick tangles of mesquite or behind one of the large boulders along this part of the trail. She reined Demon to a stop and listened. She shook her head at herself. This had to be simply a delayed reaction to the danger of the last few days. In spite of her denial of real trouble, when she heard a whinny come from beyond the bend in the road ahead, she reined Demon around and urged him into a gallop.

  She flew by the tangles of mesquite trees, scrub oak, and cactus that lined the well-beaten path eager to feel safe again. Half way back to the ranch she met Uncle Luke and the half-dozen vaqueros her dad had sent to escort her back to the ranch. She expected her uncle to scold her for disobeying the doctor’s orders, but he merely said he had been worried about her. Well, that was Uncle Luke, easy going to a fault. Her father wouldn’t let her off so easy. She strode into the kitchen braced for his tirade. She found only her mother, bent over a cup of coffee, looking lost, like someone had stolen her computer.

  “Where’s Dad?”

  “He flew Nick to San Antonio.”

  “They’re gone?” Sara Jane’s throat tightened. Tears that she thought she had under control welled up again. Nick hadn’t even said goodbye. She cleared her throat and tried to speak normally. “Will Dad come back tonight?”

  “No. He’s staying a few days to help Nick.” Her mother’s grim tone revealed her displeasure.

  “Help him do what?” Sara Jane poured herself a cup of coffee with a trembling hand and joined her mother at the table.

  “It’s that Honey Murder case. The Bureau put Nick back on it, and your dad wanted to give him a hand.”